Is this heaven?
I knew the path today would be difficult, but I never imaged it would be deadly.
We boarded an early morning bus to Cape Ashizuri and Temple 38 (Kongōfuku-ji), the Temple of Everlasting Happiness. Walking to the station a young girl ran up behind us waving two cold bottles of water. “Ganbatte” (Japanese saying used to encourage people to try hard) she yelled eagerly. We were not the only pilgrims on the bus. This is Golden Week, one of the busiest travel times in Japan. Our bus was crowded with many other pilgrims and travelers.
The one hour ride dropped us off in front of the temple. Outside a stoic figure stood in a black robe accepting alms. He looked familiar, but placing him was difficult. When our eyes met, he smiled and said to me “peanuts”. Of course! This was the monk who was struggling on the climb from temple 11 to 12. We had given him a bag of nuts as osettai. He looked different without his large haul, and where those crocs on his feet? We leaned that he just stared his ascetic training. He will be walking the 88 temple circuit, if we understood correctly, 20 times. It takes an average of 40-50 days to walk it once. He will be on foot for over two and a half years!
After lunch with sweeping views of the Ashizuri Peninsula we set off on the nature trail. The elevated path was the perfect vantage point to watch waves crashing against the jagged rocks below. Nearing the beach we could feel the strength of the ocean winds. A beautiful shrine perched on a cliff caught our attention and Matt decided to run ahead to check it out. The trek was over my comfort level so I stayed behind. Seeing him climb the slippery, pencil thin path as the winds blew him back and forth freaked me out. When he disappeared from site, a sinking feeling came over me. What if something happens to him? What if he falls off the cliff into the water? What if he…dies? The possibility of my life without him paralyzed me. Hours later, ok maybe minutes, he reappeared. A big smile on his face. However my fear had turned to anger. Explaining fear while in relief can be complicated. The following moments were uncomfortable. Together we decided the situation happened. It couldn’t be changed. We would leave it behind.
Another thing we left behind was a well marked path. Our beautiful ocean trail led us into a dark green forest route with caves and webs. The poorly marked path was creepy in a beautiful way. The late afternoon light cast shadow patterns on everything causing us to lose our bearings. With heavy breathing, sweaty bodies and aching legs, we continued on. Where were those directional arrows? The warm air blew a cool breeze. The hard ground started to feel spongy. How long had we been following that ancient wall to our left? Then Matt said the most interesting thing. In our confused state and monotonous surrounding he voiced “What if we are dead and this is heaven?” My very first thought was comfort, then serious consideration. The pilgrim path is often steep. It is on the edge of long drops. Most of the day it’s slippery. Many times solitary. What if, after this tiring day we had an accident and our minds had not yet caught up with our reality? Is that even possible? It wasn’t a scary thought. If this was our fate then it would have been a good way to go. Traveling and with the person I love, admire, & appreciate.
Eventually the arrows reappeared and we we were right where we should have been, on the path with another tiring five kilometres to go to catch a 5:54pm bus.
As we stepped onto our second bus of the day I asked the driver to help let us identify our camping stop. He nodded in understanding. In his late 40’s and handsome, my take is he’d rather have been surfing than driving a bus.
The rural route makes many stops. A woman waiting at one of them caught my attention. The setting sun created the most beautiful back light on her. Covered from head to toe in clothing she was most likely working in the fields. Even underneath the layers of fabric you could sense her attractiveness and curious eyes. She took a seat across from us. With a calm eagerness she kept smiling and nodding towards me as if she wanted to communicate but didn’t know how. A few stops later the driver looked back, keeping his promise to help us get off in the correct place. As I gathered my belongings the woman simultaneously gathered her courage (although my gut tells me she is strong). She reached out to give me a red coral phone string. Thanking her many times as I fumbled for my ofuda (name card) I could see her smile beautifully through stained teeth. Outside the bus our eyes met again and we both bowed to each other. Some connections stay with you forever. Her o-settai hangs from the strap of my camera bag to this day.
Many of the other campers were already enjoying dinner when we arrived. Our visit to the camp office ended with the #19 written on a card, one garbage bag and many smiles. We located our spot and set up before dark. Grabbing our drinks we walked the 50 yards towards the water. That’s when we saw them. Fireflies! Hundreds of them. They lit up the small stream, the trees, and the beach. Simply Magical.
A collection of rocks in the water were silhouetted by the evening light. The water shimmered. The landscape was inspiring. I raised my finger and physically traced the scene in the air. Locking into my memory forever. Did I mention there were fireflies?
Our tent got super cold in the middle of the night. Even my dreams were frigid. Reciting the Heart Sutra over and over warmed me until morning, when we both woke up to take on another day together.
April 29, 2016 - Temple 38
